Strong-willed Child

OK, how did I have a child who gets such a label? Was it the extra coffee I drank when I was pregnant? Maybe it was when I fell down the stairs when I was 5-months pregnant.

When he went for his kindergarten evaluation, Liam refused to be evaluated without me present. He was nervous and uncomfortable. The Guidance Counselor shook her head and said, "Maybe it's too early to start him." That was before he had even been tested.

The evaluator asked him what sparkles and there are millions of them in the sky. They come out when it is dark. Do 4-year-olds really understand the concept of millions? Liam told her it was the Haunted Mansion. He said it's dark at the Haunted Mansion. Things sparkle at Halloween. Good answer! That's what I would have said!

Anyway, he got bored with the testing and promptly told the Examiner, "I'm done with this." He started shifting in his seat.

We met with a teacher, to go over his results. She said he was ready for kindergarten. He was on target for his skills. Wow! I was surprised! The Guidance Counselor came over and intervened. She told me Liam was the only child who would not be tested without his mom. She referred to him as uncooperative and a danger to have in the classroom, if he would not sit still. She recommended I visit his Pediatrician for advice on dealing with a strong-willed child. So much for my first public school experience, as a parent!

Anyway, I discovered that even other fellow Montessori teachers have dealt with (what they like to call) spirited children, in their classrooms and their own children. I am not alone! There are ways to help him. Their are ways to effectively discipline him. Good to know!

I read that these children, if not given proper guidance, can become criminals. If given proper guidance, they turn out to be politicians, ministers, or other leaders. OK, so my son could be Charles Mansen, Ted Bundy, Jerry Falwell, or (God forbid) Bill Clinton. Maybe he will be a mob boss or an ax murderer.

Isn't that true for any child? Why all the labeling? We just do what we can, give proper discipline, teach respect, and hope for the best.

The article also said these children can be highly intelligent and know how to manipulate. They thrive on parental conflict.

We will wait another year before trying kindergarten again. Someday I will watch my kindergarten-rejected son be elected President (after he has won an Olympic gold medal and received his Doctorate in Quantum Physics) and will say, "That's my strong-willed, spirited boy." If he didn't have the will, he would not succeed.